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Three Key Practices to Become Who You Are Meant To Be

I recently read an interview with award-winning writers Alice Walker and Colm Tóibín in the New York Times. It grabbed my heart when I read this sentence from Alice Walker:

“I had seven brothers and sisters, and not one of them became the person they should have been…”

Her statement got me wondering two things:

How many people never become who they could have been? And how can we stop the plague of unmet dreams, zapped hopes, and constrained spirits?

Although there’s no definitive answer to either question, I believe…

Hard work isn’t enough

There are countless books, podcasts, and blogs that outline how to turn a dream into reality. These resources often provide step-by-step instructions for bringing our desires to fruition.

Yet, the internal work required to realize bold goals and feel more fully alive is under acknowledged…

You may say you want to become the person you were meant to be. However, how will you feel when you manifest the pictures in your mind but still struggle with feelings of unworthiness or an old hurt or trauma? Will you be able to maintain or expand your beautiful vision?

Here are three crucial internal practices to work through the mental and emotional challenges that stand in the way of becoming the person you were born to be.

1. Put Your Mind Where Your Heart Is

When dealing with any mental, emotional, or spiritual discomfort, many people overlook the critical first step to being able to move forward and thrive.

In this case, the start is to stop. It’s taking a few moments to be with your Self to ACKNOWLEDGE where you are, what you are feeling, and what you desire for your life.

It’s easy to see how this step gets skipped. People are too busy dealing with the issue at hand to stop and acknowledge what, to them, is a nuisance or unimportant.

Acknowledging where you are may sound like a simplistic approach to addressing an issue as big as a broken spirit. But magic lives in the present moment—acknowledgment fosters inner congruency (I’ll tell you why that’s important in a moment) as long as you…

2. Tell Yourself the Truth

When you acknowledge what is present, you practice sanity and activate your innate resilience.

So, when you’re feeling challenged, tell yourself the truth about your situation. In a stream of consciousness, acknowledge all that is going on with you. Your list might look something like this:

I feel tightness in my heart.

I am feeling overwhelmed or burdened.

I have a tough time staying focused.

I just want to sleep. I wish I weren’t in this situation.

I feel like I’m not good enough.

And then…

3. Let the Energy Flow Through You

Acknowledging “what is” should NOT be confused with complaining. The twoenergies are quite different.

When you complain, you judge your circumstances and imply that something about the situation is wrong or against you.

However, it's an act of Self-care when you state what is going on –without judgment—to release the energy. You are responding from your higher Self.

The point of acknowledging is to let the energy that is present flow THROUGH you instead of becoming stuck inside you. Resistance is a form of engagement. When we engage with thoughts and feelings, we strengthen them, and they begin to feel more real and can take on a life of their own.

Allowing the energy to flow through you gives your mind and body a way to register a sense of safety and inner congruency.

When you are where you think you are, you are who you think you are, and your feelings are acknowledged, you act in accordance with your dreams and desires. And you have an inherent sense of trust that makes decisions easier.

Allow the good in

The key to feeling good about becoming the person you want to be is not to take any of your thoughts or feelings too seriously.

In many cases, thoughts and feelings are simply energy passing through. If you allow the thoughts and feelings to rise without over-engaging with them, they will roll back out to sea like a wave.

Then, you will become free to – more soberly and sanely – choose the next action to take to resolve the issue at hand and move forward.

We each deserve to become the person we can be. Developing the skill of healthy, conscious acknowledgment and release of our inner discomforts is the best way to ensure we are open to all the good our life has in store for us.

Let’s create more fulfilling lives,

Tina Lifford plays Aunt Vi on the critically acclaimed television show, Queen Sugar. The Little Book of Big Lies: A Journey Into Inner Fitness is her first book; released by Harper Collins, November 2019, and is full of the kind of internal “actions” that will transform your thinking and your life. Want more Inner Fitness gems? Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more Aha moments.

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