Updated: Aug 5, 2021
Have you ever learned a life-changing lesson the hard way?
Mine started 18 years ago when I walked away from a career in Environmental Science to become a freelance personal development copywriter. I thought it would help me learn more about myself, create a life that I was passionate about, and use my "voice" to inspire the world.
I was partially right.
I gained invaluable knowledge about the human mind and spirit and our capacity to create an abundant life. I worked with extraordinary people. And my work played a role in helping hundreds of thousands around the world.
But over the past couple of years, it became clear that something was missing…
Despite all the programs I completed, seminars I attended, and books I read, I still hadn't managed to create the passionate, purposeful life I had hoped for.
So… tired of spinning my wheels, I started to question why.
A Big AHA
In June 2020, I read The Little Book of Big Lies, and I started doing Inner Fitness Workouts shortly afterward.
It wasn't until then that everything I had learned over the past 18 years started to click.
I understood why, for so many people (including myself), making meaningful changes requires more than setting goals, creating plans, meditating, and being persistent…
We also must do inner work to create a path through which our desires can show up in our lives.
Of course! It seemed so obvious.
So, now working on cultivating a great relationship with my Self is part of my daily routine. And I'm so grateful to see my passions, desires, and goals finally start to fall into place.
Three Steps to Getting Out of Your Own Way
If you want to change your life, but you feel like you're spinning your wheels, doing these three things can help.
1. Expand your awareness of your thinking.
We talk to ourselves in words, images, and emotions every waking moment. When I started paying attention to—and changing—what I was saying to myself, my life started to shift.
Start listening to your self-talk to see what messages you are feeding yourself. When you notice a harsh, judgmental, or self-rejecting thought, interrupt it with an empowering thought or action immediately.
Each time you choose to talk to yourself in loving, uplifting, accepting, and success-oriented ways, you destabilize old patterns. And you sow a seed for an internal environment that's conducive to your unfoldment.
2. Get clear on what you want.
Before I started doing the work in Step 1, I had only a vague idea of what I wanted in life. One day I would say I wanted one thing; the next day, it was something else.
The problem with that is if you don't know where you want to go, you become a drifter, hoping for something good to show up.
If you're not clear on exactly what you want, set aside some quiet time to dream. Let your imagination run free and fantasize about your ideal life.
Write a detailed description—precisely the way you want it—of who you want to be, what you want to do, what you want to have, what you want to give, and how you want to feel. Write it in the present tense as if you already have your desires. Then, put the description somewhere that you'll see it often.
3. Rewire a limiting belief or thought pattern.
Now that you know what you want, think of a specific belief, such as "I'm not good enough," that has, up until now, kept you from getting or pursuing it.
Write a paragraph that describes how you would think, feel, and behave if you had the opposite belief (e.g., "Good things are happening in my life, and I deserve them"). Make sure what you write contains ideas and images that are meaningful and inspiring to you.
The mind cannot distinguish between what's real and what you imagine, so write the paragraph twice daily for 30 days to plant the new ideas in your subconscious mind.
And here's one final point…
As you write the paragraph, use your non-dominant hand. That will require you to write more slowly as you focus on the new ideas. And what that mindful practice will do to your self-talk and your cells can change your life.
Lean Into What You Want
You may have heard that when it comes to getting what you want, your job is the "'what,'" and God's job is the "how." By taking the steps above, you take care of both.
In Steps 2 and 3, you identify your "what" and begin to lean into it. And, in Step 1, you create an opening through which the "how" can do its work to manifest your desires. It's a conscious practice that allows you to get out of your own way and see what's possible.
Krista Jones High is passionate about achieving wellbeing by thinking from the inside out. She has worked in personal development for the past 20 years, including writing for Nightingale-Conant and working for Bob Proctor for six years. Krista is a Wellness & Health Coach from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (IIN). She combines her training from IIN, her work with Bob Proctor, and her zeal for inner fitness to help clients navigate life's challenges by looking at things from a different perspective so they can see new possibilities. Book a one-on-one coaching session with Krista here for assistance in getting out of your own way and more!