Updated: Feb 1
As an unapologetic Inner Fitness Trainer, I know that men and women alike yearn to know that they matter in the world, and we all struggle with unresolved hurt. Beyond this, I don’t claim to understand how men think. Therefore, I am sharing this article written by Trevor Huffman, titled 7 Pieces of Life Advice for Successful Men. It is a 3-minute read, found on Medium’s Data Driven Investor blog. As a woman, I found Trevor’s advice interesting and full of good inner fitness advice. However, because I can’t help myself, I’ve added my inner fitness two cents as well. My comments are in green.
Happy Father’s Day!
1. Take your shot: with the woman that makes you do a double-take. With the thing you feel most nervous to do. Quit the corporate job. Go travel the world. If you feel strongly about it, do it. We should listen to the “hell yeah” moments our gut shouts at us about.
When your healthy inner voice tries to get your attention, lean in and listen, choose to believe in your inner voice’s ability to guide you. Work to build a strong connection with your inner Self. This effort will build confidence and help you thrive.
2. Losing isn’t fun. But winning isn’t fun without knowing what losing feels like. You can’t try to take the big shot, or make a life change, or pick up and go because you are scared of losing. Winning takes constant small risks to put yourself out there day after day, and in the end, losing (or getting shot down with the woman you want to ask out) is what makes winning feel so damn good.
The biggest risk is to dare to see your Self as capable of going for more. Indeed, you are capable and worthy. Dream bigger and start taking your shots.
3. Don’t take losing personally. If you want to get to winning sooner, if you want to get to the hot partner you can’t believe you landed, remember losing is just one small moment in time. Move on quickly if you lose — like missing the shot in the big game, or the super smokin’ hot girl that shoots you down, or falling short of a record or goal — get back on the horse as soon as you can. Go ask the next woman out. Go take the next shot. Keep swingin’ for the fences. Get back to eating keto or the nutrition plan. Get back to the gym. Let go of losses, learn from them quickly, and you’ll start winning sooner.
Your focus is your superpower. Use it deliberately. Train yourself to acknowledge your feelings. However, if you find yourself overly focused on feelings of disappointment, defeat, or depression, shift your thinking away from such ruminations. Instead, reaffirm your goals. Conjure mental images of yourself taking the perfect shot and winning. Think about what you want and see your Self achieving it in the future.
4. Play the game (in life, fitness, or business) that you truly enjoy playing. Be authentic for once. Don’t fake your life for the feeling of status or greed. Love the game you decide to play — in business, startups, dating, or life. You could sell all your things and live in Costa Rica for ten years on a beach right now if you wanted to — you’re just scared to take the risk.
Be clear about the game you are playing and why you are in the game. Telling your Self the truth about why you do what you do helps you make conscious, deliberate decisions.
5. If you are willing to suffer to become something because you truly enjoy doing it, you are playing the infinite game. The infinite game is an internal feeling of joy, peace, accomplishment, and happiness. If you are truly wanting to be fit, or enlightened, or better, try to play and find the infinite games in your life. If you hate running on a treadmill but love playing or training for basketball, do the thing you love so hard and so much, it starts to hurt. Suffer for your infinite games and you will find accomplishment in ways you’ve never anticipated.
The Infinite SELF inside you is the part of you that extends from the universal force that organizes all life. Call this force by whatever name you prefer. I use God or Universal Intelligence. Aim to live your life, making room for this force to operate through you, and you will experience more flow, be more determined, and have more joy and happiness.
6. Invert your life for a moment. What would life be like if you died this year? If you lost your partner? If your startup was with 100 million instead of one million (why and how would it be worth more?) What would women do if you were in the best shape of your life and dressed like you cared? Sometimes going big, living like you are dying tomorrow means you have to fight through the feelings of wanting to always watch Netflix, eat Ranch Doritos, check your smartphone (addiction), and get off the Hedonistic treadmill you keep running on.
The brain’s sole objective is to keep you breathing. This objective means your brain is okay with you spending your entire life on the couch eating Doritos. If you want more from life, you will have to use your mind better deliberately: Fight lazy or addictive tendencies of the brain with a better vision of the person you want to be and the life you want to live. Then, find a person or group that can help you stay accountable to your desires.
7. True success is knowing nothing in life is guaranteed and living like you truly care about doing it anyway. Whatever you do next, try to let go of external desire. Only focus on what you hear from the inside out. This life, this health, this love, this job, this six-pack, this breath, and this startup is about figuring out what you are truly meant to be and doing it like there is no tomorrow.
Live life like you matter. Like you appreciate this extraordinary opportunity call humanness. LEARN to value your Self and have fun.
Tina Lifford plays Aunt Vi on the critically acclaimed television show, Queen Sugar. The Little Book of Big Lies: A Journey Into Inner Fitness is her first book; released by Harper Collins, November 2019, and is full of the kind of internal “actions” that will transform your thinking and your life. You can also join her at a workout in her Inner Fitness Studio to practice strengthening your wellbeing and making it actionable in your day to day life. Don't miss the latest news from Tina Lifford and The Inner Fitness Project. Sign up our monthly newsletter here.